Taboo

taboo adjective: proscribed by society as improper or unacceptable

Apparently, being pregnant is in fact taboo.  I'm not sure from where this so called society thinks it originated, but I am starting to think we are not too far past the barefoot and pregnant mentality.  About a million things have pissed me off this week in regards to pregnancy, none of which have anything to do with my growing waste size or my raging hormones. 

I now understand why shopping for maternity clothes triggered a fit of tears EVERY time.  Because only Heidi Klum understands and you can only buy her line of clothing in bits and pieces at random stores.  To begin with, the quality of maternity clothes, specifically pants, is ridiculous unless you spend $100+ on pants you can only wear for about 6 months.  Yes, my ass is wider, but that doesn't mean I don't notice that the pockets on my jeans are lopsided and oddly spaced.  Having one pocket on my thigh rather than on my other cheek just isn't working for me.  In fact, doesn't this draw more attention to my posterior?

I also don't understand why everything has to make me look like I myself am the child.  Is it necessary that all my tops tie in the back?  I'm pretty sure my ginormous belly will hold everything in place.  And on the topic of the ginormous belly, it makes no sense that the majority of tops have horizontal stripes, which according to all the fashion magazines, only makes you look wider.  It's like the think tank on this one sat down and said, "Yes, let's take hormonal women who already feel fat and gross and let's give them fashion disasters that make them look even bigger and squattier!"  It's a wonder we don't have an epidemic of pregnant suicides on our hands. 

All of this is assuming you can even find the maternity clothes at any given store.  Apparently, they think pregnant women are a minority.  I'll give props to Target.  Their tiny little section is at least with the other women's clothes.  At Kohl's, I have walked that store 50 times and finally decided I had been misinformed and that they did not carry maternity.  By accident this week I stumbled upon their two racks in the most logical place...against the wall, in a corner, between the bras and the robes.  This is on the opposite side of the store from women's clothing and there is not sign announcing maternity.  You have to recognize a brand name or notice the lovely elastic belly band waste that has been neatly tucked in to conceal it from sight.  Are we really that repulsive?  At Burlington, I again came across their section my mistake.  It is located in the farthest corner from the door between the strollers and the toys.  Not even in the clothing section.  At Macy's it's BEHIND customer service, by the service door and they didn't even have a light above the section.  It is no wonder we are all stuffing ourselves into our pre-pregnancy clothes or ill fitting larger sizes that may reveal a peak at the belly or a boob from time to time. 

Thank God for my mother, who suggested we skip maternity all together and opt for cute sweater dresses to get me through the winter.

So if one day you pass me and see a little more of me than you would like, don't judge... blame the department stores. 

The Ghosts of Christmas Past

Every year the process of getting and decorating our Christmas tree turns into some crazy situations.  The first year did not start us off on the right track thanks to my overactive imagination.  Although I am far from warm and fuzzy, I had allowed my mind to drifts off into a Cleaver-ish scenario of silver bells and holly, mistletoe and magic. Rocky would rush home, sharing my excitement over buying our first married tree. We would examine every tree on the Home Depot lot until we found the perfect one (because Home Depot is the picture of romance). Once home, my adoring husband would turn on Christmas carols and start a fire while I poured our glasses of wine. We would then enjoy an evening of stringing lights and adorning our perfect tree, commenting on how wonderful our first married Christmas was turning out.

I have no idea where this image came from. I blame too many Fa la la la Lifetime movies and my evening was far from a dream.  My husband did rush home, but not in the holiday spirit...in the fantasy football spirit.  The Jets were playing the Bills. As he plopped down on the sofa I watched my daydream do a tale spin into the trash can. After I stormed off into the laundry room to furiously sort clothes he appeared in the doorway, having had his memory jogged by my little tantrum and we headed off to Home Depot.  Actually getting the tree went pretty smooth and I had renewed hope for the evening.  Once home I began unpacking boxes and boxes of lights and ornaments and stockings and trim, beginning to feel like my holiday fantasy might have dragged it's smoking carcass from the trash in my very own Christmas miracle.

Wrong again.  He paused the football game long enough to help me string lights and before I could even plug them in, he was back on the sofa with the remote, glued to the game.  I could see where this was going so I drop kicked my Christmas miracle back into the garbage and begin throwing all the decorations, which I have just unpacked, back into the boxes. Now, it's important to mention that at this point I knew I was being irrational and overreacting, but I didn't care.  Furious, I stomp out of the room yelling, "I am not decorating our first married tree BY MYSELF! I guess we will just have lights this year. I would hate for our FIRST CHRISTMAS to get in the way of watching the FOOTBALL GAME!"  I eventually calmed down and after convincing my husband he did not marry a crackpot, I got a happy ending to this holiday drama.   The next evening Rocky came home and pulled out the decorations. He then poured two large glasses of wine, handed me one, and then put on Christmas carols.  By the end of the evening we have a beautiful tree, a happy buzz, and a less-than-perfect but wonderful memory.

Our second Christmas together was comical.  Rocky, being the smart guy that he is, decided to avoid any holiday drama.  He coordinated with me ahead of time and we planned to get our tree on a non-football night.  We got the tree and made it home where I poured wine while Rocky started a fire.  It was quickly turning into my Lifetime Movie and I was secretly pleased.  While in the office dragging the decorations out of the closet, we were interrupted by the ear-piercing sound of the smoke alarm.  We raced into the living room and discovered smoke billowing out of the fire place.  The dog was frantic as I hacked and coughed my way through the house opening windows and doors while Rocky tried to figure out how to extinguish the fire.  We learned a little lesson about chimney sweeps that Christmas, but still managed to get everything decorated.

The third time was bound to be a charm.  We planned to get the tree early Sunday morning, agreed that we would wait until later in the evening to decorate so that Rocky could watch the football game, and we decided to fore go a fire.  Sunday morning we loaded up and headed out to get the tree, stopping at our favorite kolache shop on the way.  We quickly found the perfect tree, paid for it, and carried it to the car where we we discovered that this tree (like me) seems to be fatter than in previous years because it would not fit in the trunk.  No problem.  We just let it stick out and drove home with the trunk open.  On the way home I realized we didn't have them cut the bottom off the trunk and I informed Rocky he would have to trim it when we got home so the tree would be able to absorb water and live longer.  He reminded me that we only have a hand saw, which seemed like a reasonable tool to me, but he felt differently and tried to convince me the trees had been cut recently and it didn't need a trim.  I pouted the remainder of the trip home, convinced our tree would die within the week.  Hormones.     

We finally made it home and started to unload the tree when I noticed a tag on the bottom branch.  "Grown in Oregon!" I read.  "How recently could they have been cut if they were grown in OREGON?!"  At this point, my poor husband sees the crazy coming out and just silently continues to work at getting the tree out of the trunk.  He carried it to the backyard and then went to the shed to retrieve the hand saw.  About this time I am starting to see crazy myself and feel bad, but I really wanted the base cut so I offered to help hold the tree in a peace making effort.  The most obvious way seemed to be to straddle it while he cut so I climbed on.  He put all his effort into sawing the biggest trunk I have ever seen on a Christmas tree and I leaned over to watch and offer encouragement (I'm sure he loved that).  About halfway through the trunk, the saw got stuck.  He pulled and pulled and I'm watching closely to see what happens when suddenly the saw came out and nailed me right between the eyes.  I see stars.  We both sat stunned for a minute.  He felt bad, but I'm pretty sure he was thinking that I deserved it just a little... I was kind of thinking the same thing.  I recovered and we (he) finished cutting the trunk off and we got the tree inside where it now consumes a gallon of water a day.  All the other decorations went up without a problem and we are even going to attempt to put lights up outside on the tree in the front yard.  We kept that piece of tree trunk and made an ornament out of it for the tree.  The only problem now is that the dog keeps pulling the tree skirt off and using it to bury her bones in the house.   

Our lovely tree and all our decor... don't mind the referee on the TV!

  

And So It Goes

It's all starting to be too much.  I got over my baby blues just in time to start getting the crap kicked out of me while itching from head to toe.  As Jake gets bigger, I obviously feel him more frequently.  I have decided he is all elbows and knees and he is in the process of busting out of the belly.  When he isn't karate chopping my spleen or bladder, he is wedged down in my pelvic area making it nearly impossible to move without moaning in pain.  I mean seriously.    He has four more months.  It's not like he has to stand in line at the door.  It's not Black Friday in there... no one else is trying to make a break for the exit.  He could live a little higher in the belly for a while.  Just saying...

In itching news, the rash is almost clear except for a spot here or there.  It has been replaced with scaly flaky alligator skin.  It reminds me of that Nivea commercial.  Maybe I should go for a casting call.  You would think no rash means no itch, but you would be very very wrong.  I had quite an episode the other morning trying to get to an itch on my bicep while wearing a sweater and jacket and driving.  Good times. 

It doesn't stop there, however.  The itching has spread to my upper belly which I am told is due to stretching.  I lube up with body butter and it seems to help.  What is does not help is the insane itching on my nipples!  Nothing helps and I have tried everything.  I put cold packs on them (which really isn't pleasant), I tried Benadryl cream, Caladryl, lotion, and nail polish.  All this did was give me cold, crusty nipples that smelled like acetone.  Today I was hiding under my desk scratching so my students wouldn't notice.  Again my poor roommates at work were subjected to Debby Does Round Rock as I went on a scratching frenzy.  So imagine if you will a preggo teacher who already has out of control nipple hard ons... now I am pinching and tweaking them all day due to the itching!  No one told me pregnancy was going to turn me into a porn star. 

Don't be Rash

This week was supposed to be amazing.  Two day work week and then 5 day weekend.  Instead, I have an encounter with a sago palm and end up with a nasty allergic reaction.  It spread up my arm and across my chest.  It is currently not getting better.  It is so gross and itchy I had to start taking Benadryl every 4 hours and applying Caladryl every 2 hours. 

This week also brought with it knees and elbows.  Jake has gone from a slight fluttery feeling to a full blown karate kick.  They get harder and stronger every day and now can actually make me catch my breath  from time to time.  Rocky likes it because he can feel him now, and I can't imagine how crazy it is going to be when he gets bigger!

Tomorrow we are off to East Texas for some turkey and family time.  Can't wait to see everyone and relax a little bit!

Halfway There!

So we are officially halfway at 20 weeks.  The belly is starting to get bigger by the day.  I wake up every morning convinced it has doubled in size while I slept.  One night I gained a whole pound overnight!  My waist is now the same size as my husbands, measuring a whopping 34 inches.  That is 5 inches and 5 pounds in 5 months.  Holy cow!  Maybe Jake will come on April 5th instead of 9th... just in time for The Toddfather's birthday!  Rocky also was able to feel him for the first time this weekend.  That was pretty cool and he was beside himself.  He has been waiting to feel him since we found out we were pregnant.

20 Weeks Belly Shot.. it really popped! 

I also started a blog just for Jake.  Well, actually it's for Jake's grandparents, aunts, and uncle.  I don't want to post all his pictures and happenings on Facebook so this way family and friends who are interested can keep up with the little mover and shaker without Mom looking like a crazy person on Facebook.   

The waiting game is the longest thing ever.  I spend a lot of time on pinterest and etsy helping past the time.  Lately, some pretty funny baby stuff has popped up.  Here are a few of my favorites: 

I also found this ADORABLE outfit that I think I am going to get for Jake to wear to Kimmi's wedding with little black pants.  We were going to leave him at home, but Aisha didn't really want to babysit since he will only be a few weeks old and I don't think we will start the bottle that soon so we are dragging him along.  He has to be dressed for the occasion.  He might want to dance with the bride during the dollar dance so he needs to be ready. 

My latest craft project was a holiday wreath, which turned out to be much bigger than I had originally planned.  It took a while to make, but it was fun and I am mostly happy with the results. 

I also enjoy googling my dreams to see if they have any significant meaning.  I compare the dream interpretation site's ideas with my own interpretation.  Here are some of my recent ones. 

One recurring dream involves beer.  In my dream I am drinking beer after beer.  Finally, around my third one I remember I am pregnant and decided I should probably stop... after I finish the one I am on.  

Dream website interpreted says: "To dream that you are drinking alcohol in excess signifies feelings of insecurity and regret. You may be worried that people will discover your true identity."  

Shalinda says: "I'm pretty sure my true identity was discovered aLONG time ago.  I'm not one to hold back.  I think the dream means... that I need a freaking beer!  I'm a teacher for crying out loud." 

Another recurring theme is cars.  Sometimes I am stuck in the car, sometimes I'm in a car accident, sometimes I am trying to drive and the car is controlling itself.  

Dream website says: "Such dreams are related to the level of control you have in your life. The physical condition of the car, as well as your location in the car (for example: Are you the one driving, or are you a passenger?) are reflections of how in control you are feeling." 

Shalinda says: "I'm a terrible driver.  My husband is a fast and aggressive driver.  Riding with him makes me sick and gives me a headache from anxiety.  I have terrible road rage.  I have totaled 3 cars since I have lived in Austin, two within a year of each other.  I'm pretty sure I never feel completely in control in the car.  I would rather take a bus or train and add hours to my trip.  Dream means HIRE A DRIVER WHEN THE BABY COMES!"  

Now, Rocky is having crazy dream! 

It's a Boy!

So now that we KNOW it's a boy all the fun as started.  Jake Hudson Kelley is already shaking things up!  I arrived at school Tuesday morning to a surprise!

To be honest, it took me a minute to figure out what was going on.  I knew it wasn't my birthday and I was a little confused until I read the "It's a Boy!" balloon.  I am totally blaming it on Pregnant Brain, which has become such a prominent part of my life it has become a proper noun and deserves to be capitalized. 

Christine and Amanda had decorated my side of the room in blue and white streamers and balloons and made a cute little sign with Jake's name on it!  It seriously made me giddy.  All day my students came in and read it as asked, "Who's having a baby?"  Nice.  They also gave Jake a cute little gift that his daddy really liked.  Somehow, I already know he's probably going to grow into it...literally, and we can thank his granddad for that!   

I also didn't waste anytime getting started on the nursery.  I agonized and went back and forth trying to find bedding that I liked.  Rocky was very little help...he liked everything and didn't have a favorite at all!  I even went to an amazing website where you can click and drag fabrics to design your own bedding.  Nothing worked.  The poor girls I work with spent hours listening to me.  By the end of the day they were even online trying to help!  Finally, I decided to look for a design I liked and work backwards from there.  The modern designs really stood out and I liked the clean lines and bold colors.  Pinterest was my best friend during this phase.  I drew some inspiration from rooms like these from http://www.babylifestyles.com/  (another new favorite) and went from there. 

I finally found a few that I liked, but still couldn't decide.  As a last ditch effort I spent an afternoon on Etsy and came across a bumper that caught my eye.  After looking around at a few decorative accessories and getting approval from Rocky, I decided that this was the one.  It's simple with bold colors that will be easy to accent.  I'm getting the bumper and crib skirt in the tree material and then I will match my own sheets (I didn't love the ones in the picture).  I already have a plan!

I am also in love with funky modern mobiles and found one perfect for the nursery for $50!  After a little investigation I determined that I can totally make it myself so that is what I am going to do.  I'll use the main colors and then accent with a print to make it pop.  So easy!  When finished, I hope it looks something like this. 

No more baby blues!  I think all I needed was a project!

Introducing...

Well, the long anticipated day has finally arrived!  We went today to see the baby in 4D and find out the gender.  We got a good look at all the vital organs, tiny ribs, and long legs.  Then the tech tried to determine boy or girl and the umbilical cord was in the way.  Of course.  I managed to get this appointment moved up two weeks and now I was going to have to wait even longer to find out the gender.  The universe is cruel like that.  Eventually, the baby moved and we were able to get a good look... the "money shot" as my friend Tiffany calls it.

So, we would like to introduce JAKE to everyone! 

    

We are thrilled about having a healthy baby boy.  We would have been happy with a healthy girl, but this is like an added bonus!  He is right on track, although he looks long to me already.  It's early, only 18 weeks, so he still looks a little alien-ish, but it was so exciting to see him.  And he is a mover and a shaker.  No more calm baby.  He was kicking, flipping, and stretching the entire time we were watching him.  We have a lot a video from this appointment, but the 4D is the most amazing.   

 



Randomness from a Pregnant Brain

I think with every passing day my belly gets bigger and my brain gets mushier.  I am so forgetful Rocky makes me put reminders in my phone for everything.  Today I went to make lunch and by time I got to the kitchen 15 feet away I had forgotten what I was going in the kitchen to do.  Nice.  So this post is full of all the randomness that is my life (and brain) right now.  First, belly pic from 16 weeks. 

This year for Halloween I escaped dressing up once again.  Unfortunately, Aisha did not.  I bought her first ever shirt.  Poor thing.  I adopted her over 6 years ago and never in all that time has she ever worn a shirt.  However, I decided that since we were handing out candy this year, we needed to be a bit more festive.  She was so confused.  She walked around without bending her legs for some reason.  It was actually pretty funny, but I did feel a little bad for her.  When I took it off, she grabbed it out of my hands and took of running with it in her mouth.  She dropped it on her bed and laid on top of it while chewing on the corner.  I'm thinking she was trying to send a message... possible the same one I have been trying to send to Rocky about Halloween for years.  Still, she looked pretty cute.

 
So I avoided Halloween this year by suggesting Rocky go to Matagorda fishing.  As it turned out, our friend Tony was available so the boys set out for a guys' weekend.  I was left at home to watch trash tv, be lazy, organize, and be creative.  I decided to tackle a fall wreath.  I didn't want anything too over the top so I settled for a simple burlap wreath with scrap material flowers.  Super easy project that kept me busy while I sat at home and watched old episodes of Real Housewives. 

I think Aisha is figuring out that something is going on.  She has been more clingy than usual and has started letting herself into our bed.  I could possible be to blame for this a bit since I always let her sleep with me when Rocky is gone.  But it has gotten pretty bad.  Now she gets in bed even when he's home.  I usually go to be a lot earlier than he does so she just crawls on up.  When he gets ready to come to bed, there we are.  She even lays on his pillow now...

Back to pregnancy topics...cravings.  I still haven't had any real cravings, thank goodness.  So far, two main things stick out as cravings.  The first one is milk.  I drink so much milk.  Today, I finally stopped after my fourth glass because I was afraid I was going to grow utters (wait, that might have actually already happened...)  But seriously, I'm not sure if there is a limit to how much milk you should consume in one day.  It's 1% but still, I'm thinking the fat adds up.  Here is what is left of the gallon of milk I bought 4 days ago. 

My other major craving...beer.  I actually envisioned liking Rocky's tongue the other day while he was drinking a beer.  That's when I thought I might have an issue.  I haven't been indulging it other than a little tiny sip from time to time.  The closest I have gotten is O'Doul's and Buckler.  Of course after downing a few of those on top of pregnant brain, it's almost like I'm drunk.  

My other new favorite "drink" is Fre wine.  Not even close to the real thing, but it looks like wine and it's not water.  It allows me to participate in book club and girls' nights without feeling completely lame. 

Once more thing... I have been trying to stay active and in the gym, but I'm getting a little bored with it now that I don't have any workout buddies.  I've been running in the neighborhood, which helps, but now Aisha has trouble keeping up in her old age so I have to go alone, which sucks.  Randomly, I put in the Wii Sport disc the other day to see if there was something on there I could do to at least feel like I had done something besides sit on the sofa (which I had done plenty of) and  a new obsession was born.  Wii boxing is my new obsession.  I moved through the first few levels pretty quickly, but now I am having trouble with this one nasty biotch who keeps kicking my butt.  It is starting to really piss me off.  I spent a significant amount of time today trying to beat her, and now I cannot raise my arms over my head without moaning.  I AM SO SORE!  Maybe I am finding a productive outlet for my aggression and annoyance (one night this week Rocky was picking on me and I actually said to my husband, "You're going to get hit so you better tell me where you want it").  Trying to beat "Kathrin" is a bit more productive and a lot less domestic violence-ish.  And who knows, maybe I'll be ripped by time the baby comes.     

Pants on the Ground

Let me start by saying that skinny chick in the green on the right side of this page really needs to pack on a few pounds.  I've been waiting for her to actually look pregnant for weeks now and I'm getting a little annoyed. 

In reviewing the events from the past few months I have come to the conclusion that shopping (at least maternity shopping) is clearly not for me.  As a solution I have been taking advantage of an alternative since clearly my pants don't fit anymore.  A while back I bought a couple of belly bands, but I threw them in the drawer and hadn't given them too much thought since.  One day I wore one as a tank top under a dress, but only recently have they really proven their worth.  In case you are not up on your fat girl lingo, a belly band is an elastic band that goes around your waist and allows you to wear your non-preggo pants unbuttoned. 

I have been wearing my band everyday (except with jeans) but that is proving a temporary solution.  The pants I wore today were unzipped almost all the way and I began to think about the whole situation.  I am a teacher who works with children with my pants undone all day long.  Pair that with the torpedo nipples and on paper I am a headline waiting to happen.

With this new realization (and my pants squishing my belly) I have decided to attempt shopping one more time.  Rocky will be out of town this weekend so I am going to put my big girl panties on and head to the San Marcos outlets.  I don't know if venturing out shopping alone is the best idea considering the outcome of all my other shopping excursions, but I am left with few alternatives.  Pants must be bought.  Soc cross your fingers and say a prayer.  If this little outting does end in waterworks like all the others, my back-up plan is to touch up my make up and head over to the nearest shoe store.  At least my feet aren't fat...yet.      

Everything's Great, But I'm Not Happy

This past weekend Rocky went with me to the mall to return some preggo pants that I didn't like.  I tried on a million other pairs, but all of them made me look like a tick...short, round, and squatty.  In frustration I hung them all back up and told him we should just get a refund.  And then I burst into tears and had a total meltdown in the middle of the  mall.  He handled the return while I sobbed at the front of the store, pretending no one could tell because I put my sunglasses on.  I proceeded to cry hysterically all the way home and for about an hour after that.  Then yesterday I spent two and a half hours at the domain trying to find a dress for a wedding that didn't make me feel like a watermelon.  I finally settled on one (that I WILL be wearing Spanx under) and called it a day on the verge of tears AGAIN.  Funny how shopping now has that affect on me. 

It's a little ridiculous.  Not the crying, but being pregnant (gasp!).  I know, you aren't supposed to say it out loud, much less put it in print.  But it's true...and I think with all that's going on with my body, I deserve a good cry every now and then.

It isn't that I don't want the baby.  I'm over the moon about the baby.  In fact, give it to me now and let's call it a day.  The baby I love.  Being pregnant I hate.  I'm ready for the baby to live on the outside of me.  I get that I'm creating a new life, I have super powers, it's a miracle, blah, blah, blah.  I don't care.  It sucks.  And I don't want to hear how it will be worth it in the end.  I know... that's where I'd like to be now.  Bring on the sleepless nights, the two a.m. feedings, the diapers, the mess.  I will take it all right now and you can keep the bloating, the belly, the mood swings, the total loss of control of you own body.

And I know that I sound like a brat.  I have had the easiest pregnancy known to man and I appreciate that and feel lucky and blessed.  It still doesn't make me like it.  It's like having the flu.  If it only last a few days, you are extremely thankful that you weren't out a week or more with it.  It does not mean you are jumping up and down yelling, "Yay!  I have the flu.  Whoo hoo!"

So judge me if you must, but these are the facts.  And for my two friends who are closely watching me to see whether or not they want to embark on the journey, I want you to know that I wouldn't undo it.  I hate it, but it's a means to an end.  I definitely do not understand those women who are depressed after having the baby because they aren't pregnant anymore.  I assure you that will not me me.  We will be having a huge "Hurray the Baby is Out!" party.  Prepare yourselves. 

Pinterest.com

So my addiction to online shopping has only gotten worse with the discovery of pinterest.com.  I will say it has also inspired me to be a little more creative, but it is also inspiring me to spend a lot  more money.  As soon as my husband figures out what is going on, I will more than likely be on a budget.  Lucky for me, I handle the checking account and all the bills so that day is hopefully a while off.

I started crafty first.  I got inspired one weekend while Rocky was in Matagorda fishing and I made some Christmas decorations.  All very simple and super cheap.  I spent about a half hour in Hobby Lobby and I was set for the weekend.  The result:

Christmas trees (there is supposed to be a third one with swirls, but that got a little out of control and has been postponed until I have more time on my hands.  

A Christmas card holder (this is not actually the one I created.  Mine is cuter, but I didn't take a picture of it).

and a Christmas K!  I have no idea what to do with this, but it was so cute I had to make it. 

  My next project is a Christmas wreath, which I am very very excited about.  It could possibly be on the agenda for this weekend.  I am always looking for ways to entertain myself and avoid the craziness of fantasy football. 

Next, on Pinterest I came across fantastic organizing ideas.  It's not nesting because 1) it's way too early for that and 2) I was totally like this before I was pregnant.  So, I saw pictures like this

and decided that my house had to be organized just like that.  We have the smallest closets known to man and baskets would solve all my problems.  So, I found this amazing website (http://www.luckyclovertrading.com/) where I could order baskets wholesale.  I found these baskets which are 15 x 11 x 9 for $7.00 each!  What a deal. 

I ordered 10 of them and am eagerly awaiting their arrival.  If they make it here before the weekend, the wreath will have to wait. 

My other online shopping obsession is www. etsy.com.  They have the cutest handmade stuff.  Today I found matching outfits for Aisha and the baby and although I originally told Rocky I would not dress the baby and dog alike, I may have to rethink it.  It's just so cute!  It would be even cuter when the baby is small and new.  Perfect for a photo!  I'll have to work on him for that one.

A Road Map to Who Knows Where

So after brushing my teeth last night, I stripped to do my nightly rub down with the fantastic body butter that is suppose to prevent stretch marks.  As I am lathering it on the ever growing belly, I notice that my torso has turned into a road map.  It literally looks like someone took a blue pen and drew ALL over me.  I continue to inspect the belly and follow the trail of vessels along my side, up to my enormous boobs, across my chest and back down.  These stupid veins are HUGE.  And they are either right at the surface or my skin is now paper thin.  I'm pretty sure one is going to pop through the skin at any moment.  I mean, seriously, I look like I'm turning into a smurf.

I yell for Rocky to come in and check it out and he is in awe.  He spends a few minutes poking at them before his attention is drawn to something else.  Before I know what is happening, he has grabbed a measuring tape and is trying to measure my nipples, which have taken over my boobs.  The areola has doubled in size and the nipple sticks out a good fourth of an inch.  They now stick out through the painter's tape I was using to hold them down.  I have graduated to nursing pads just to keep the nipple under wraps.  Before long, my entire boob will be all nipple.  For obvious reasons, this posting will not have photos.   

The Cinch

My biggest pre-pregnancy fear was that I wouldn't be able to get back into my jeans after the baby.  I was scared my body would be ruined forever.  I'm still not convinced otherwise...Actual pregnancy, morning sickness, sleepless nights, and even labor seemed like minor details in comparison to not getting my pre-baby body back.  Vanity is an ugly thing, I know (although I think actual labor has moved up on the scary list).  I have taken every precaution I can think of to spare my body any damage possible.  With the exception of a week here or there, I'm still running several times a week, lifting weights, and doing yoga (all with my doctor's permission).  So far, other than a little back fat, these things seem to be helping and at almost 4 months the scale has only increased by 3 pounds.     

In a recent conversation with my wonderful friend, Kristyn (who shares my body vanity and fears), she mentioned one of her clients is the creator of The Cinch (http://www.byanew.com/About/) which is a post pregnancy tummy wrap that has a very impressive success rate for getting women back into pre-pregnancy clothes.  Of course, I jumped on it.  I immediately began looking into where I could purchase one, how much they cost, etc.  A few days later, I got an email from this same wonderful friend asking if I would like to pilot the new during pregnancy Cinch that the company is putting out.  They would send me the band (for free) and in return I would wear it and take pictures to post on their blog.  After the baby I would transition to the postpartum Cinch and continue to document my journey.  Um, let me get this straight.  You are giving me something for free that I really wanted anyway, that will help me get back in my pre-preggo jeans, and all I have to do is take pictures of my fat belly.  This is a no brainer!  Of course I am going to do it.  I cannot wait!  So, in the name of science, here are some belly pics.

Here is the belly at 7 weeks pregnant (don't worry, the rest are with my shirt down!) 

      

Here is the belly at 9 weeks...

and at 13 weeks. 



Happy Birthday!

My birthday marked the end of my first trimester!  Thank goodness.  I celebrated with a pumpkin spice latte (thank you Tiffany!), a fantastic steak, and a shopping spree.  For my birthday, the baby gave me meat back... well, steak, but it's something.  Rocky took me out for a great steak dinner where I ate the ENTIRE 6 ounce fillet I ordered.  I have also become quite a fan of O'Doules (nonalcoholic) beer.  Rocky now agrees that the baby is most likely a girl.  He said she is already high maintenance and has expensive taste.  I'm just looking foward to the steak dinners in my future!  



After dinner we went on a little shopping spree.  No luck with pants, but I found some cute tops that I think will cover my unbuttoned pants for a little longer.  While we were there, Rocky picked out a shirt for me also. 



Today, I continued to celebrate with my teammates at work with another pumpkin spice latte (thank you Christine!) and some delicious cupcakes.  OMG, they were amazing!  They are from a great little bakery in Georgetown called Galaxy Bakery and Coffeehouse (galaxybakery.com).  My friend, Christine, turned me onto this place last year and they are just as amazing as they look.  This has been a fantastic birthday.    

I need to get my Cinch (http://www.byanew.com/post-preggo/cinch.html) soon because I think the belly is about to start growing! 

12 Weeks Visit

Our visit to the doctor revealed that our baby finally looks like an actual baby.  No more blob.  There are arms and legs and even a nose.

During the exam, she (I think it's a girl now) jumped around a few times, but then settled in for a little nap.  She seems very laid back!  As of today, she measures almost 6 cm long and is developing perfectly.  Her heart rate was 161 which is primarily what I am basing her gender on. 

After the sonogram, which it totally the only fun part, I had to give some blood.  I thought it would be easier because it is just a finger prick, but it hurt much worse than the arm needle!  Geez, I felt like she sliced my finger off.  And I didn't even know you could get bruise on the tip of your finger, but I have one!  I have a whole new appreciation and sympathy for my poor brother in law who has to prick daily.  It sucks! 

So now that it's a girl, I've had to change my thinking a bit.  I am by no means disappointed, but I really thought it was a boy.  To get in the girly mood, I started looking at girl bedding and I found some that I think I really like (at least for now).  I don't want anything too baby-ish or pastel so I had to do some searching.  So far, here are the front runners. 

This is my favorite.  I like the bold print and bright colors.  The flowers girly it up without being over the top.  I probably won't do a pink wall or rug, maybe a different accent color. 

I like this one for the same reasons.  Bold prints and bright colors.  I have a friend who can paint canvases similar to the ones in the picture so I could easily recreate this room.  In both room one and two I like the use of lime green.  

The jury is still out on this one.  Bold print, but I kind of feel like it should be in a retirement home rather than a nursery.  Maybe it's too gardeny.  Not sure.  

Feel free to comment and make suggestions!  I'm open to ideas (for now)...

The Joke is on Me

Always a Bridesmaid...
So I was going to be a bridesmaid in a wedding 3 weeks after my due date.  Crazy me really thought I could pull it off.  I have now realized this is insane and probably very stressful to my poor friend Kimi, the bride, so I pulled out of the wedding.  She was amazing about the whole thing and I am still determined to at least make it to the wedding.  I have already lined up a sitter.  However, I did not come to this realization until AFTER we went dress shopping.  When we get to the shop, my other friend Gina informs me that I am trying on the dresses.  Yes, let's make the fat pregnant girl put on and take off her clothes a million times in order to stuff herself into dresses that don't fit.  To make matters more interesting, I was not wearing panties (because all the ones that fit are in the laundry) and I had not groomed down there in a few weeks (which is like not grooming for a year when you are on prenatal vitamins).  So I spent the afternoon feeling like a stuffed turkey and I couldn't even have a drink afterwards to feel better. 

Meat Craving (Well, kind of...)
It has been over a month since I have eaten any meat and I was beginning to think that I should invest in an chicken coop with the amount of eggs I was going through.  Again, my poor portable mate at school had to endure the smell of boiled eggs for lunch several days a week.  What a great food.  They smell like a fart BEFORE you eat them.  Then one evening, to my surprise I got a crazy craving for something new. 

Yep, that would be THREE crunchy tacos from Taco Bell.  The baby was very specific about what he wanted.  Taco Supreme with lettuce, cheese, sour cream, and of course, mystery meat.  So, the first meat I have in ages might not actually be meat at all. 

Mean Girls

I think the baby might be a girl because I'm pretty sure she hates me.

ACL was this past weekend.  Friday night I wore my normal jeans and a tank top and had a blast.  I wasn't too tired and I ate some fantastic nachos from Tony Love's Love Shack.  Saturday morning I went to the closet and grabbed my pre-planned outfit only to discover that the short I planned to wear had a different idea.  Overnight I went from normally-buttoned pants to no-way-no-how shorts.  Of course this caused a major meltdown where I declared I was not leaving the house again.  Poor Rocky.  He came to the rescue and started trying to help pick out something I could wear.  He was smart enough to go for skirts with elastic waistbands, but these still caused a roll in the middle of my belly and set off another round of tears.

"If I looked pregnant that would be one thing, but everyone is just going to think I'm fat!" I wailed into his chest.  I'm pretty sure he was holding back a laugh at my irrational thoughts, but he was very supportive, insisting that I did indeed look pregnant.  Finally, we found a skirt that I could pull up to my bra under a tank and avoid the nasty cut in half look. 

My next clue into the gender of my child came in the form of a craving.  I have not eaten any meat in about 4 or 5 weeks.  It completely grosses me out.  So, as I packed my lunch yesterday morning, I was surprised to find myself reaching for a can of tuna.  Especially sense I wasn't a huge fan of tuna before the pregnancy.  I decided to go with it and did actually enjoy it for lunch... ALL of it.  Just as a precaution, I double checked online about the amount of fish I can have while pregnant.  I discovered I had just consumed my entire week's worth in one sitting.  Did I mention it was a LARGE can of tuna?  I didn't think it was really a big deal until I got home and all I could think about was tuna.  Dinner, I wanted tuna.  All night I thought about my yummy lunch.  I woke up this morning and considered tuna for breakfast.  So, it turns out that the one source of protein that I really really crave just happens to be the one protein that I can only have in moderation.  This baby has a very nasty sense of humor. 

Finally, I have been waiting for today for months.  My sister gave me Journey tickets for the concert tonight.  I have eagerly been waiting and planning, so excited to get to see them.  We were going to drive to San Antonio after work and arrive just in time.  So of course, on Monday I began to feel a little under the weather.  Tuesday was worse and I worried I was getting strep.  Today (concert day) I still feel pretty bad and Rocky doesn't think we should chance it.  We wouldn't get back until really late and he thinks it would aggravate whatever this is.  So it looks like the only journey I will be enjoying today is the one from the car to the couch.  So bummed. 

All I know is this better be one cute baby...
 

Bathroom Secrets

So the baby isn't even here yet and it has already altered the state of my marriage.  Since meeting and becoming a couple, we talk about and share almost everything.  ALMOST.  The one off limits topic has always been the bathroom, or more specifically, what occurs in the bathroom.  I am not shy or squeamish and my girlfriends and I have discussed the topic countless times.  I just choose not to discuss it with the one  person with whom I need to maintain  my sex appeal.  For four years I have managed to keep the mystery alive and have had my husband convinced that I do not poop.  This has required some skill on my part and some really good timing, but I have pulled it off.  Vacations, family get togethers, weekends, even illness, but he has never had a clue. 

That all changed this week.  Because I have had some serious food aversions, my diet has been less than stellar.  Meat and salad are both currently on the baby's "Do Not Eat" list.  Add to this that the baby LOVES cheese and prenatal vitamins and you will begin to see where this is going.  After a week of no bathroom action I was not in the best of moods.  I finally clued Rocky in to my predicament and thus began the downward spiral. 

Finally fed up one evening, I went into the bathroom to sit until something happened.  About 20 minutes later I get a text message..."Are you okay?"  I emerge and inform him that I am not okay and that it was  not a successful visit. 

At the grocery store the next day I decide to try a different approach.  I purchased Fiber One cereal, Fiber One snack bars, and a ton of fruit.  I also started adding spinach to my protein shakes.  Rocky periodically checked in with me from day to day to see if there was any progress.  My bathroom habits were quickly becoming a main topic of conversation and at this point I am well on my way to my demise. 

The final straw came when I finally had a successful bathroom visit at work of all places.  I was so excited and relieved that without thinking I texted my husband, "I finally pooed!!" To this came the response, "Wow!  I never thought I would get a text like that from you!  What can we do tonight to celebrate your 10 pound dump?"

We are now one of "those" couples all thanks to this baby...

No Shows

I am considering another early pregnancy purchase out of sheer necessity and for the safety of all. 

I was more than a little excited when my boobs grew a size with this pregnancy.  I have had fairly small ones my entire life and so this new development was pretty entertaining.  What I was not prepared for was the constant nipple-hard-on.  Now I have had issues with "perky" nipples before, but have always been able to contain them.  No so much anymore.  At the gym, no sports bra or top can hide them.  I have resorted to masking tape to hold them down, but they still manage to pop out.  I spend more time running to the water fountain so I can try to press them down discretely than I do lifting weights.  And I'm pretty sure I'm not fooling anyone with what I'm doing over there.  This week a guy got on the treadmill beside me and didn't even try to hide his stares...for the entire 30 minutes I was there.  I would like to pretend that he just thought I was hot, but I have never gotten that kind of attention at the gym pre-nipple.  Even my padded bra is no match for these suckers.  I'm worried they are going to become a safety hazard.  I mean, I work with children...what if I put an eye out!

Six Flags Over Pregnancy

I knew that being pregnant would more than likely cause a little emotional influx, but I have more curves and hills than a roller coaster.   Take filling a prescription for example.  I had my prenatal vitamins filled at HEB Friday before leaving for Houston.  In a rush, I just grabbed them and hit the road.  Once in Houston I realized they had filled the prescription with the generic brand which for some reason cost MORE than name brand with my insurance.  Monday morning I politely called to inquire about the difference in price and my options.  That nasty biotch at the pharmacy wouldn't even give me the price difference.  She just kept saying that there is a sign that says they fill generics if not otherwise specified and that there was nothing she could do about it.  If I wanted the brand name I would have to call the insurance company and see what they could do.  So obviously I was pretty annoyed.  And what did I do?  Start crying!  My poor roommate at work had to endure the crazy flood of tears while I'm sure trying not to laugh at how ridiculous I was being. 

Well, I thought I had composed myself before calling the insurance company.  The guy I talked to was so extremely nice, even though he couldn't help.  This, of course, sent me into another crying fit.  At this point I am so disgusted with myself for crying that I cry even more.  The whole thing is out of control and a little weird.  I clearly cannot handle this situation so I called my husband and told him the pharmacy had me in a fit of tears (which he is getting used to) and that I needed help.  He immediately took action and had the entire situation under control in one afternoon which made me cry AGAIN. 

The next day I woke feeling much better (or so I thought).  Apparently, I was wrong.  No tears thank goodness, but I did use quite a bit of sign language with the other drivers on the way to work.  At one point I even rolled down my window to yell something.  Seriously?!  I think I'm ready to exit to the left...  

Eventful Weekend

We went to Houston this weekend to tell Rocky's mom, Darlene, that she is finally going to be a grandma.  We put a picture of the sonogram in an "I love Grandma" frame and had her open it.  Excited does not begin to describe her reaction.  She has been waiting on this for a long time.  After we broke the news she couldn't wait to tell the neighbors, who are close family friends.  For the next few hours, text messages and phone calls ensued.  I received a texted saying Daddy wanted to call Darlene so I passed along the number and they had a nice chat about who would be keeping the baby on what weeks and who should be called what.  It was pretty cute.

The next day we went to visit Kellie, Rocky's cousin who just had a baby.  Rocky never holds babies, but Kellie insisted so she could get a picture.  I don't think he enjoyed it much, but it was really cute.  After about 3 minutes, he looked at me and said, "Okay, I think I'm done." 

Rocky broke the news again to Kellie and Nana while we were there.  Nana, of course, began going on and on about how she didn't think we knew what to do.  It was too much for my poor pregnancy hormones and I informed her that we knew perfectly well what to do and that we are on our own time table, not hers.  I let her know we are happy with the way things are working out and this is exactly what we had planned.  OMG that woman drives me nuts! Later, I called her crazy and she smacked me, but I guess I had it coming.

After all the excitement, I needed to fill a few people in also.  I didn't want my friend Kimi finding out I was due three weeks before her wedding (which I am a bridesmaid in) on facebook.  So, I sent her a picture of the sonogram and said "guess what you are getting for a wedding gift!"  I was a little worried, but it was for nothing.  She was very excited and called Gina at 8:30 that morning in her excitement.  So now we just have to find a bridesmaid's dress that is flattering on a post baby body.  That should be easy. 

So now it seems that the cat is out of the bag.  We didn't quite make it to 12 weeks of secrecy which was the original plan, but what do you do? 

First Appointment

I already feel like I have been pregnant forever.  I think counting down until we tell everyone makes the days and weeks drag by even slower.  Our first appointment was yesterday and we are indeed pregnant.  Rocky's favorite part of the entire visit was getting to actually see the stirrups.  We were able to see the baby close up and even hear the heart beat loud and clear... 135 beats a minutes.  If the old wives tale is true, then it's a boy!  As a bonus, the tech tried to guess what I had for lunch by looking at my intestines.  It was a little strange. 

After the sonogram we returned to the waiting room to wait for the second half of the visit and I pulled out the pictures.  We looked at them and talked about how crazy it was that we actually heard the heart beat.  Over the past few weeks, anytime I said something about the baby, Rocky would reply, "What baby... prove it."  So as we looked at the pictures I said, "Well, I proved it... we're having a baby."  His reply, "Now we just have to prove it's mine!"  The other pregnant woman waiting tried to pretend she wasn't listening, but I'm pretty sure she thinks I'm a dirty slut married to a fantastic guy! 

Famous Last Words

I began my pregnancy feeling very grateful that I seemed to be escaping the nastiness of morning sickness.  I felt like a champ other than wanting to sleep all the time.  Last week, I developed some kind of nasty cold that would not go away and hung around for the entire week.  The majority of this past weekend was spent either in bed or in some other napping location.  Rocky jokes that I have located every possible napping spot in our house.  He was a amazing this weekend... running errands, picking up groceries, and force feeding me until I felt better.  He is already on track for the whole fatherhood thing!

So now I feel  better, but have been pretty nauseous most of the week.  I don't seem to have any real food cravings yet, and in fact have actually developed an aversion to almost everything...especially chicken.  I am surviving mostly on fruit, soup occasionally, and grilled cheese sandwiches.  A few nights ago Rocky picked up Yogo Bowl which was tasty.  I think he's worried the baby is getting tired of my limited diet.  Last night I had queso, a cheese burger, and a sprite.  None of which I would eat normally, but at this point I have to go with what I can stomach.  Rocky loves it and thinks it's pretty funny the baby is causing such an uproar to my eating habits because I swore I would stick to my healthy diet.  Famous last words. 

Changes

So the doctor gave me the go ahead on working out at my appointment, but what she failed to mention was that I would soon be too tired to put my hair in a ponytail or tie my shoes, much less run on the treadmill.  I have managed to keep up my routine, but after a few miles I can't decide if I'd rather throw up or just lay down and take a nap.  I also get more winded than the eighty year old lady on the treadmill beside me who is holding her oxygen tank. 

Additionally at four weeks, terrible lower back pain set in.  It was so annoying I couldn't sleep and I complained and kept Rocky up for hours.  Finally, I remembered something a pregnant friend told me and I made my first pregnancy purchase.

This was quite possibly the best purchase of my life.  I wrap up in this thing and I can sleep for days...or at least until I have to get up and pee.  It limits the amount of cuddling done in bed, but I don't think that is why I have to fight Rocky off the other side of it in the middle of the night.  He has decided that he needs a pregnancy pillow also. 

Fatigue and back pain are not the only early symptoms.  I can now out-fart my husband on any given day and about mid-day I look pregnant due to all the gas and bloating.  I still am not showing any weight gain on the scale, but I have unbuttoned my pants on more than one occasion.  The worst, however, is what I have heard referred to as pregnancy brain.  I thought it was an urban legend, but I was wrong.  I walk around feeling half drunk most of the time.  Last week I put the milk in the pantry and the blender in the cabinet with the cleaning supplies.  I stand up to do something and by time I take a step I have forgotten what I was going to do.  I forget complete conversations and have trouble finding words when talking.  Last night, I caught myself trying to take my contacts out of my nose.  I literally was holding my nostril open the way I do my eye before I realized what a moron I am.  Today I couldn't find the month of September in my day planner and I forgot the word photo.  I'm not sure I should be trusted with a child at this point.  He may end up sleeping in a desk drawer or with the dog at the rate I am going.  I don't know if I want to see what comes next!