It's all starting to be too much. I got over my baby blues just in time to start getting the crap kicked out of me while itching from head to toe. As Jake gets bigger, I obviously feel him more frequently. I have decided he is all elbows and knees and he is in the process of busting out of the belly. When he isn't karate chopping my spleen or bladder, he is wedged down in my pelvic area making it nearly impossible to move without moaning in pain. I mean seriously. He has four more months. It's not like he has to stand in line at the door. It's not Black Friday in there... no one else is trying to make a break for the exit. He could live a little higher in the belly for a while. Just saying...
In itching news, the rash is almost clear except for a spot here or there. It has been replaced with scaly flaky alligator skin. It reminds me of that Nivea commercial. Maybe I should go for a casting call. You would think no rash means no itch, but you would be very very wrong. I had quite an episode the other morning trying to get to an itch on my bicep while wearing a sweater and jacket and driving. Good times.
It doesn't stop there, however. The itching has spread to my upper belly which I am told is due to stretching. I lube up with body butter and it seems to help. What is does not help is the insane itching on my nipples! Nothing helps and I have tried everything. I put cold packs on them (which really isn't pleasant), I tried Benadryl cream, Caladryl, lotion, and nail polish. All this did was give me cold, crusty nipples that smelled like acetone. Today I was hiding under my desk scratching so my students wouldn't notice. Again my poor roommates at work were subjected to Debby Does Round Rock as I went on a scratching frenzy. So imagine if you will a preggo teacher who already has out of control nipple hard ons... now I am pinching and tweaking them all day due to the itching! No one told me pregnancy was going to turn me into a porn star.
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