Pants on the Ground

Let me start by saying that skinny chick in the green on the right side of this page really needs to pack on a few pounds.  I've been waiting for her to actually look pregnant for weeks now and I'm getting a little annoyed. 

In reviewing the events from the past few months I have come to the conclusion that shopping (at least maternity shopping) is clearly not for me.  As a solution I have been taking advantage of an alternative since clearly my pants don't fit anymore.  A while back I bought a couple of belly bands, but I threw them in the drawer and hadn't given them too much thought since.  One day I wore one as a tank top under a dress, but only recently have they really proven their worth.  In case you are not up on your fat girl lingo, a belly band is an elastic band that goes around your waist and allows you to wear your non-preggo pants unbuttoned. 

I have been wearing my band everyday (except with jeans) but that is proving a temporary solution.  The pants I wore today were unzipped almost all the way and I began to think about the whole situation.  I am a teacher who works with children with my pants undone all day long.  Pair that with the torpedo nipples and on paper I am a headline waiting to happen.

With this new realization (and my pants squishing my belly) I have decided to attempt shopping one more time.  Rocky will be out of town this weekend so I am going to put my big girl panties on and head to the San Marcos outlets.  I don't know if venturing out shopping alone is the best idea considering the outcome of all my other shopping excursions, but I am left with few alternatives.  Pants must be bought.  Soc cross your fingers and say a prayer.  If this little outting does end in waterworks like all the others, my back-up plan is to touch up my make up and head over to the nearest shoe store.  At least my feet aren't fat...yet.      

Everything's Great, But I'm Not Happy

This past weekend Rocky went with me to the mall to return some preggo pants that I didn't like.  I tried on a million other pairs, but all of them made me look like a tick...short, round, and squatty.  In frustration I hung them all back up and told him we should just get a refund.  And then I burst into tears and had a total meltdown in the middle of the  mall.  He handled the return while I sobbed at the front of the store, pretending no one could tell because I put my sunglasses on.  I proceeded to cry hysterically all the way home and for about an hour after that.  Then yesterday I spent two and a half hours at the domain trying to find a dress for a wedding that didn't make me feel like a watermelon.  I finally settled on one (that I WILL be wearing Spanx under) and called it a day on the verge of tears AGAIN.  Funny how shopping now has that affect on me. 

It's a little ridiculous.  Not the crying, but being pregnant (gasp!).  I know, you aren't supposed to say it out loud, much less put it in print.  But it's true...and I think with all that's going on with my body, I deserve a good cry every now and then.

It isn't that I don't want the baby.  I'm over the moon about the baby.  In fact, give it to me now and let's call it a day.  The baby I love.  Being pregnant I hate.  I'm ready for the baby to live on the outside of me.  I get that I'm creating a new life, I have super powers, it's a miracle, blah, blah, blah.  I don't care.  It sucks.  And I don't want to hear how it will be worth it in the end.  I know... that's where I'd like to be now.  Bring on the sleepless nights, the two a.m. feedings, the diapers, the mess.  I will take it all right now and you can keep the bloating, the belly, the mood swings, the total loss of control of you own body.

And I know that I sound like a brat.  I have had the easiest pregnancy known to man and I appreciate that and feel lucky and blessed.  It still doesn't make me like it.  It's like having the flu.  If it only last a few days, you are extremely thankful that you weren't out a week or more with it.  It does not mean you are jumping up and down yelling, "Yay!  I have the flu.  Whoo hoo!"

So judge me if you must, but these are the facts.  And for my two friends who are closely watching me to see whether or not they want to embark on the journey, I want you to know that I wouldn't undo it.  I hate it, but it's a means to an end.  I definitely do not understand those women who are depressed after having the baby because they aren't pregnant anymore.  I assure you that will not me me.  We will be having a huge "Hurray the Baby is Out!" party.  Prepare yourselves. 

Pinterest.com

So my addiction to online shopping has only gotten worse with the discovery of pinterest.com.  I will say it has also inspired me to be a little more creative, but it is also inspiring me to spend a lot  more money.  As soon as my husband figures out what is going on, I will more than likely be on a budget.  Lucky for me, I handle the checking account and all the bills so that day is hopefully a while off.

I started crafty first.  I got inspired one weekend while Rocky was in Matagorda fishing and I made some Christmas decorations.  All very simple and super cheap.  I spent about a half hour in Hobby Lobby and I was set for the weekend.  The result:

Christmas trees (there is supposed to be a third one with swirls, but that got a little out of control and has been postponed until I have more time on my hands.  

A Christmas card holder (this is not actually the one I created.  Mine is cuter, but I didn't take a picture of it).

and a Christmas K!  I have no idea what to do with this, but it was so cute I had to make it. 

  My next project is a Christmas wreath, which I am very very excited about.  It could possibly be on the agenda for this weekend.  I am always looking for ways to entertain myself and avoid the craziness of fantasy football. 

Next, on Pinterest I came across fantastic organizing ideas.  It's not nesting because 1) it's way too early for that and 2) I was totally like this before I was pregnant.  So, I saw pictures like this

and decided that my house had to be organized just like that.  We have the smallest closets known to man and baskets would solve all my problems.  So, I found this amazing website (http://www.luckyclovertrading.com/) where I could order baskets wholesale.  I found these baskets which are 15 x 11 x 9 for $7.00 each!  What a deal. 

I ordered 10 of them and am eagerly awaiting their arrival.  If they make it here before the weekend, the wreath will have to wait. 

My other online shopping obsession is www. etsy.com.  They have the cutest handmade stuff.  Today I found matching outfits for Aisha and the baby and although I originally told Rocky I would not dress the baby and dog alike, I may have to rethink it.  It's just so cute!  It would be even cuter when the baby is small and new.  Perfect for a photo!  I'll have to work on him for that one.

A Road Map to Who Knows Where

So after brushing my teeth last night, I stripped to do my nightly rub down with the fantastic body butter that is suppose to prevent stretch marks.  As I am lathering it on the ever growing belly, I notice that my torso has turned into a road map.  It literally looks like someone took a blue pen and drew ALL over me.  I continue to inspect the belly and follow the trail of vessels along my side, up to my enormous boobs, across my chest and back down.  These stupid veins are HUGE.  And they are either right at the surface or my skin is now paper thin.  I'm pretty sure one is going to pop through the skin at any moment.  I mean, seriously, I look like I'm turning into a smurf.

I yell for Rocky to come in and check it out and he is in awe.  He spends a few minutes poking at them before his attention is drawn to something else.  Before I know what is happening, he has grabbed a measuring tape and is trying to measure my nipples, which have taken over my boobs.  The areola has doubled in size and the nipple sticks out a good fourth of an inch.  They now stick out through the painter's tape I was using to hold them down.  I have graduated to nursing pads just to keep the nipple under wraps.  Before long, my entire boob will be all nipple.  For obvious reasons, this posting will not have photos.   

The Cinch

My biggest pre-pregnancy fear was that I wouldn't be able to get back into my jeans after the baby.  I was scared my body would be ruined forever.  I'm still not convinced otherwise...Actual pregnancy, morning sickness, sleepless nights, and even labor seemed like minor details in comparison to not getting my pre-baby body back.  Vanity is an ugly thing, I know (although I think actual labor has moved up on the scary list).  I have taken every precaution I can think of to spare my body any damage possible.  With the exception of a week here or there, I'm still running several times a week, lifting weights, and doing yoga (all with my doctor's permission).  So far, other than a little back fat, these things seem to be helping and at almost 4 months the scale has only increased by 3 pounds.     

In a recent conversation with my wonderful friend, Kristyn (who shares my body vanity and fears), she mentioned one of her clients is the creator of The Cinch (http://www.byanew.com/About/) which is a post pregnancy tummy wrap that has a very impressive success rate for getting women back into pre-pregnancy clothes.  Of course, I jumped on it.  I immediately began looking into where I could purchase one, how much they cost, etc.  A few days later, I got an email from this same wonderful friend asking if I would like to pilot the new during pregnancy Cinch that the company is putting out.  They would send me the band (for free) and in return I would wear it and take pictures to post on their blog.  After the baby I would transition to the postpartum Cinch and continue to document my journey.  Um, let me get this straight.  You are giving me something for free that I really wanted anyway, that will help me get back in my pre-preggo jeans, and all I have to do is take pictures of my fat belly.  This is a no brainer!  Of course I am going to do it.  I cannot wait!  So, in the name of science, here are some belly pics.

Here is the belly at 7 weeks pregnant (don't worry, the rest are with my shirt down!) 

      

Here is the belly at 9 weeks...

and at 13 weeks.